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The England WorldCupBlog Guide™ to England (for Fabio Capello)

   

Alright, so the chances of Fabio Capello reading this (especially since he apparently doesn’t speak English) are nil, but here’s what I’d say to him if he asked for my tuppence on his new job:

Goalkeepers: Paul Robinson is error-prone, with a shattered confidence in international competition. David James is error-prone, sometimes comically so. Scott Carson may have been fatally scarred by McClaren’s ludicrous decision to give him his competitive debut against a superb Croatian side in a must-win qualifying game. Ben Foster isn’t exactly playing much this season. Good luck.

Central Defence: When your first-choice defence is available, it’s one of the best out there. Sadly, it never is. John Terry and Rio Ferdinand are a superb pairing. Ferdinand has a tendency to get distracted and do something quite silly – you may want to assign someone to poke him with a stick when he looks like he’s drifting off. You might want to persuade Jamie Carragher to return to the team to provide some depth, but you’re generally good. As long as they aren’t all injured, in which case you’ll get the chance to watch Joleon Lescott and Sol Campbell. The latter is great, provided he’s not marking anyone with the capacity to run. And please, for the love of God, never play the former as a left-back. Even centre-back is pushing it, frankly.

Full Backs: Both Ashley Cole and Micah Richards are solid full-backs. You’d better hope that Ashley Cole is never injured, because the alternative is Wayne Bridge. Don’t be worried if you’ve never heard of him – just pray you’ll never need to. Richards is big and skillful but not particularly tactically aware. You’ll probably want to work on that, although the McClaren Method – ignoring the problem and hoping it goes away magically during key matches – is always an option.

The (Central) Midfield: This is one area where your new team isn’t at all bad. Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard can’t play together in the centre, but then I don’t need to tell you that – presumably you’ve seen an England game at some stage over the last four years. You may want to try playing Gerrard on the right wing, though, as, well, he’s a right winger. Owen Hargreaves and Gareth Barry are both great, underrated holding midfielders who are very difficult to take the piss out of. The same goes for Michael Carrick. Jermaine Jenas isn’t what you’d call a good player, but he can play in a pinch and probably won’t embarrass himself. Much.

The Wingers: On the right, you have a few unsatisfactory options. On the left … look, let’s be honest: there are none. Sorry to be the one to break it to you. Shaun Wright-Phillips? You’ve got two options: face up to reality and let him train as a runner rather than a footballer, or take the Ian Wright approach (smile and wax lyrical about the last time he dribbled the ball, ignoring the seven crosses he sent sailing into touch and the open goals he missed). David Beckham? Pretend you’re playing American Football and use him just for the set pieces. For the rest of the game, he can stand on the right wing and cross the ball whenever he gets it – it’s not like he has the legs to do much else. Stewart Downing? McClaren was a big fan – is there anything more damning? Aaron Lennon? Not exactly living up to his potential at Spurs, although he has it by the bucketload – make of that what you will. Joe Cole? He’s fantastic, but he’s right-footed and has never seemed comfortable playing on the left-wing, generally cutting into the centre when he has the ball rather than playing down the left. Then again, you don’t have anyone else, so you’ll just have to make it work. God knows how, but you’re a better man than me, Fabio.

The Strikers: England have lots of good strikers, the best of whom have spent most of their England playing career in hospital. Wayne Rooney can be a phenomenal player when he’s in the mood, but tends to vanish when he’s not. He’s also not really a pure striker, preferring more of a deep-lying playmaker role, so you need another top-class striker to partner him. You don’t have one, so you’ll probably have to settle for Peter Crouch, England’s premier late-game substitute, as your key striker. Michael Owen is a great goalscoring threat when he’s fit; sadly, this situation is generally a once-in-a-managerial-career occurrence. The man could pick up a potentially career-ending injury while sat reading quietly to himself in a chair, so imagine how often he actually plays football nowadays.

The Youth: You have a few great youngsters on the way up, such as Theo Walcott and Gabriel Agbonlahor. The English youth system is useless, so you might want to consider populating it with naturalised foreigners – you may want to import and naturalise a few half-decent left-wingers, possibly from Africa, in time for the next World Cup.

And with that, I wish you good luck.


  • jeff

    GK – Bring in Robert Green, make James the back-up for now, with Carson to take over when needed.

    CB – Generally good? Yeah, Terry is never injured. Beg Carra to be on call for when you need a CB.

    FB – Wayne Bridge is going to start more on the left because Ashley Cole won’t be nurtured. On the right, well, teach Micah Richards how to be disciplined and the problem is solved.

    CM – Steven Gerrard doesn’t really play on the right, when he plays on the right for Liverpool, so if you start him there with Lampard in the middle, you’re going to get the same old problems. Gerrard and Barry in the middle, maybe Hargreaves to fill in for either when necessary. Lampard should never be invited to the England camp again after his World Cup.

    Wings? – Cole is the only definite on the left. He should definitely experiment. Ashley Young would be a nice start.

    Strikers – Rooney’s a lock and if you have the right wingers and fullbacks, Crouch is the ideal pair. Owen is done, stick a form in him.

    The English youth system is so useless it produced everyone you just mentioned.

  • http://betting.betfair.com/football England Gambler

    I just clicked on this about to blow my head off that Green wasn’t even mentioned!

    Call me biased just because I’m a West Ham fan, but I think he’s the best English keeper.

    Sure all of them on their day are good keepers but he has really been the player that has pushed the Hammers forward this season.

    He’s made one error I think, that being the goal from Michael Dawson when we played Spurs. Apart from that he has been solid and has made some truly spectacular saves – most of the time to keep us in the game.

    I think he at least needs to be given a chance anyway, it’s absurd that he was completely overlooked by McLaren.

    Carragher might return with there being a new manager, but he will need to be played or else he will be straight back out the door. He’s a good player but I can’t see Capello dropping Terry or Ferdinand.

    I agree about Lescott and Bridge. It is quite worrying that we apparently have no better cover for the first team!

    jeff I too think he should experiment with the wings – as long as it doesn’t involve Downing. I’d like to see Beckham in the squad and I hope Agbonlahor and maybe Young are given a shot too.

  • http://england.worldcupblog.org Matthew

    Jeff – Good point on Gerrard. Still, I’d like to see a Lampard centre – Gerrard right wing midfield tried out in a friendly before the next world cup, because you never know. Wayne Bridge is not remotely good enough for a starting berth, and I’m sticking to that. I don’t agree on Lampard either – his performance in the last World Cup came whilst playing alongside Gerrard, which we’ve already established brings out the worst in both players. Hargreaves is a better player than Barry, and he’d be my first choice holding midfielder ahead of Barry. Cole will be in the starting 11, but he’s not a left-winger by any stretch of the imagination. I too would like to see Ashley Young given an England berth. Rooney is great, but he’s erratic and inconsistent, neither of which inspire confidence at the international level. I agree about Owen.

    As for the English youth system: it may have produced the players I just mentioned (except arguably Owen Hargreaves), but it failed abjectly to produce anyone else, and this is the problem. It produced Ashley Cole at left-back, but failed utterly to produce anyone else of quality in that position. Any country can produce 11 good footballers, regardless of the amount of money being spent and the youth system being employed, because talent will usually shine through even the most appalling of systems. The true test of an effective youth development programme is whether it is breeding good, skillful youngsters beyond the exceptionally talented top players, and the English system certainly isn’t doing that. Brazilians aren’t naturally more talented than Brits, and Brazil doesn’t spend as much money on youth development as Britain does: the reason Brazil has a national squad with quality in depth while England has Wayne Bridge and Joleon Lescott difference is that they’re doing a better job of youth development than we are, and that is an indictment of the English system.

  • http://england.worldcupblog.org Matthew

    England Gambler – Sorry that I left Green out: I honestly forgot that he existed while writing the piece, but yes, he is a very promising goalkeeper who deserves a shot at a regular England berth. I agree that Capello is unlikely to drop Terry or Ferdinand, but I think he might like Carragher’s consistency and consider using him in place of the latter. Rio is a superb player, but his consistency, especially with England, might be a little suspect in Capello’s eyes.

    I was a little harsh on Beckham: he was indisputably England’s best player on the pitch against Croatia, after Peter Crouch, and even playing in America he’s still one of the best set-piece specialists in the world (although whether that will last until the World Cup, I’m not so sure). I’m just not sure if his intelligence and set-piece ability will be enough to win him a regular role in the team beyond that of impact substitute.

    Completely agree with you on one thing though: Agbonlahor, Young, Walcott and a few other young English players will get a shot at international football under Capello, and about time too.

  • Golazo

    I fell bad for you guys.

  • Golazo

    feel*

  • sammy

    to be honest i think the england youngsters are englands only hope. fair enough some of the seniors are very talented but they dont seem to produce that talent on the pitch. all together i think they should drop beckham, crouch and bridge

  • sammy

    totaly shit) and send in walcott, agbonlahor, ashley young and maybe give aaron lennon a shot.

    to be completely honest tho, england have no hope of winning the world cup again for the next 20 years

  • http://betting.betfair.com/football England Gambler

    Cheers for the reply Matthew.

    I agree on Ferdinand, he can be woeful at times and can prove very costly. At the same time however, I’m not sure I’ve seen Carragher play as well as he does for Liverpool in an England shirt before. Maybe this is something Capello can turn around? I hope so, because if not then I don’t like the prospect of Lescott and Campbell. Big Sol is OK, I just think he is going to be too slow against some of the quickest and most technical strikers in the world. On the other hand, it’s always good to have an experienced head at the back.

    sammy, I agree about the youngsters and also Bridge. Have to disagree on Crouch though. He is one of our best performers without a shadow of a doubt.

    I’d quite like to see Dean Ashton given a chance in the England squad too. The training session under McLaren when he got injured was actually all based around him, it was very disappointing for him to be ruled out of his first cap.

  • hawkins

    Galazo go post with the loser argies. pathetic cry baby team and fans.

    god save the queen

  • http://www.worldcupblog.org/world-football/daily-dose-121707.html Daily Dose 12.17.07 – World Cup Blog

    [...] A welcome package for Signor Capello (England Blog [...]

  • NIG

    You suck. You’ll never make it. Bullocks hahahahahha dumb English Cunts.

  • Eirik

    What a shame to not see Emile Heskey on anyone’s list. Heskey and Owen have combined for well over 15 goals in their career whilst playing together. We can’t ignore that. Capello can’t ignore that.

    Forget Crouch, put in Heskey. Sure, he’s old. He’s also not that fast. But he draws defenders. He holds the ball well for someone else, who can strike it with fury and power. Someone like Rooney.

    Capello is all about finding the right combination. Barry + Gerrard was good, yes, but Heskey + Owen was best. It was the combination that even redeemed the pitiful England to have a last chance to qualify.

    If that combination doesn’t work, then I would like to Rooney and Owen. Utilizing the formation that Manchester United uses, Rooney would play a little behind Owen, providing a lethal link from midfield to striker. Owen may not have the speed of Tevez, but he’s got the finishing.

    By his track record, we know that Capello will build a strong defense, and go from there. The CM position MUST be filled by Hargreaves and Gerrard. Both are capable of running hard and playing amazing defense.

    The wings are an issue with England. If our wings are awful, we should consider playing a 4-4-2 Diamond, which would put Hargreaves in a defensive position, and Gerrard in an attacking one. Or maybe even Lampard. But what I think that what a Diamond midfield would do is reduce the importance of the wings, which definitely has its drawbacks. But until England gets some wings that are capable of having amazing pace and world-class crosses, I am not convinced. Beckham will be important, but as for the other wing, I am utterly confused as to who that will be.

  • Luis

    Looks like Fabio Capello’s been evading his taxes! He’ll be outta England soon enough now, and into the slammer!

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