Could this work of art kill England's World Cup Bid?

OK so perhaps the title is a tad hyperbolic, but really things are getting ridiculous. A quick refresher course for those of you who have missed this: England (as you all should know) is bidding to host the 2018 World Cup. Recently there was a conference in London at which Jack Warner, a FIFA vice-president, was present. Geoff Thompson, former FA chairman and current FIFA vice-president, held a dinner which Warner and his wife attended. At said dinner Geoff Thompson presented Warner’s wife with a Mulberry handbag (and let me just state for the record that I’m incredibly jealous) valued at £230.

Here’s where the controversy starts. Apparently Jack Warner’s wife thought that this was just a pleasant gift from the FA for her birthday (let us skip how little sense this assumption makes), but the wives of the 23 other men on FIFA’s executive committee also received a handbag. Now, roughly two weeks after receiving said handbag, Jack Warner has sent it back with a very angry letter (kindly published here, nice stationary Mr. Warner) claiming the handbag was “tainting her character and mine”.

Now that you have the general gist of things, lets go look at some details. In his speech in the conference Mr. Warner wondered point blank why England hadn’t showered him with goodies yet (Australia and Qatar already had), I quote “Why isn’t there a bag for England? People are looking at these things and asking themselves questions[.]” If you read the letter in full then you will have read this: “I also wish to state that there is nothing that your FA can offer me to get my vote.” How is the FA supposed to suck up to Mr. Warner with such mixed signals?

While he never explicitly stated that the reason the handbag was so character tainting was that it implied him and his wife in bribery, this is the widely supported hypothesis (and quite honestly I can’t think of another reason to give up a lovely Mulberry handbag. Though I still wouldn’t give it up. Readers Note: If you ever need to bribe me, this would work). However Jack Warner who has been involved in multiple monetary scandals in football (the highlights of which are so kindly outlined by TheSpoiler.) I hate to break it to you Mr. Warner, but your character is pretty tainted at this point. A (perfectly legal under FIFA regulations) gift of a handbag isn’t going to change your legacy.

Lastly one must seriously question the common sense of both Mr. Warner and his wife Maureen. Did the Warners seriously think that the FA loved Maureen so much that they would just give her a (rather expensive) handbag for her birthday? And did it really take the couple two weeks to realise that 23 other women also received handbags? Either the two really are incredibly thick or they are lying somewhere.

As you may have surmised by this point I think this whole affair is ridiculous. Unfortunately, however irrational it all seems, it may seriously harm England’s (not too shiny) World Cup Bid. Being implicated in a bribery scandal does not make your country look like an idyllic place to host the biggest sporting event on Earth. And even though we can all see how silly it is (at least I hope you can see), you can never rely on the geniuses at FIFA to be reasonable, and our bid does rest tenderly in their unforgiving claws. I do think, in my undying optimism, that this will all blow over eventually and the real meat of the bid will be what it is judged upon, and we can all look back and laugh someday (preferably in England, summer of 2018) at the complete idiocy of FIFA and everyone in it.

I came here and was shocked that I got a bag for Australia at the entrance. [If I were England] I wouldn’t have allowed it. Why isn’t there a bag for England? People are looking at these things and asking themselves questions.

So yeah, basically because some meeting was taking place at Stamford Bridge, and the Aussies throught to hand out tat, they might get them the World Cup. Surreal eh?

Obviously, we probably should have said “oi, Australia, get out. Stop handing out goody bags at our summit”. But you know, we’re friendly. Possibly. Or possibly we thought that handing out a random goody bag probably wasn’t going to be the most important factor when talking about where a blinking World Cup should be held.

Warner also had some, possibly better, advice for England – getting D-Beck involved in the campaign and pushing the Premier League brand a bit.

But even that seems quite shallow. I mean, If i was voting for who was going to get the World Cup, stuff like infrastructure, how they deal with fans, history, stadia etc would be the big factors. Not that we’ve got a popular marketable star, and don’t hand out England 2018 Car Stickers.

Maybe that’s just me though?

Among the people there, David Beckham added a bit of glamour, Geoff Hurst added a bit of history and beleaguered Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced it is his own mission to make sure we get the 2018 World Cup. Alright so the last one is a massive PR move, but it probably can’t do much harm.

Looking at the bidders, I think we might stand a chance of getting one of the World Cups. There are some strong other bids, but we might just nick one I think.

The main thing, I think is that although there are two World Cups, so almost two chances to get one, I doubt FIFA will want two successive World Cups in Europe, so we have to be the strongest of the European bids.

The Other Bids and What I Think Of Them:

Australia
Actually could be a good bid, they probably have the money and the Stadia to do it.

Belgium & Netherlands
Do you remember Euro 2000? I can’t remember much. That might just be because England were rubbish though. Potentially the value of the Dutch could give this one strength.

Indonesia
Surely an outsider?

Japan
Undoubtedly could host a good World Cup (see 2002) but might have had it a bit too recently.

South Korea
See Above. With the added fact that some countries (Italy for example) are probably still mad at them.

Mexico
Obviously at the moment, there is the whole Swine Flu nonsense, but that’ll be well over by 2018. People have good memories of 1970.

Qatar
I don’t see FIFA going the money is good route myself.

Russia
I think they have a really good chance. Russian football is in the ascendency at the moment, with Arshavin, the rise of the Zenit and their performance at the Euros last time out. They have the money to realistically hold one, but with Ukraine holding the Euro’s next time around, UEFA countries might lend their support elsewhere.

Spain & Portugal
Could be a strong bid, as both have strong football sides and countries full of love for the game. The only things that might get in the way are if countries don’t fancy another joint bid, are worried about Spanish politics, or worry about the fact there are two languages for some to learn.

USA
Could go either way. With the rise in profile of the MLS post-Beckham, its certainly the time for America to convince the world it actually does care about football. They had it in 94, but its probably long enough to bid again. But most countries will worry about American indifference, but will want to win them over for money reasons. Whichever feeling wins that battle will decide the bid.

So there you go. In my view, the strongest bids come from Europe, which is a pain really, as there probably won’t be two in Europe. We’ll find out in December 2010 who has it.