Wayne Rooney: 39.4658748 (Capello’s rating: 58.87)
Fabio had Rob Green at the bottom of the pile, I however placed Rooney there. I initially gave him zero points, because he was so disappointing but I added 19.7329374 points, because the child that (figuratively) sprang from his loins is so adorable, and another 19.7329374 points because he is adorable with aforementioned child.

Ashley Cole: 87.3784723 (Capello’s rating: 59.58)
Capello’s system put Jermain Defoe, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Steven Gerrard, John Terry, Matthew Upson, and Emile Heskey above Cashley over the whole tournament. Which is crazy to me, Ashley Cole was consistently the best player on that team. And you know that rating was in no way corrupted, as I am absolutely not attracted to Cashley in any way.

That’s just a selection of my ratings, expect the whole system to be published online soon**. With fancy graphics.

*All ratings out of 100
**Don’t expect that

According to that reliable bastion of news, The Daily Mirror, Rio Ferdinand has teamed up with 80s Pop Legends Duran Duran so that he can re-record their big hit, Rio (of course), in time for the World Cup.

The big question is why didn’t he wait four years for when the World Cup is actually held in Rio?

It’d obviously be extremely tacky, but sort of fun as well. I mean look at some of the suggested lyrics by the mirror:

“His name is Rio and he dances on the sand, defends for England and his surname’s Ferdinand.”

The idea is that age old one – you have to pick your all time England XI. But there are a couple of caveats. First off it has to be someone who represented England at the World Cup (seemingly since 1966, so erm not really All Time then), and second if you want to win Gordon Banks shirt, you have to pick the same starting XI as Terry Venables, who has picked a special secret XI (revealing only Banks in goal).

Go and have a look and pick your team, its good fun. To left you can see my selections, and below I’ll explain them, as well as put the current team in the context of this squad.

Goalkeeper: Banks. You have to go with Banks because its part of the competition. Would have selected him anyway? I think its basically a toss up between him and Shilton, both are greats, both I never really got to see in their primes. We’ve also produced Seaman and Clemence, so we’re pretty good down the years here. The current lot don’t stand a chance though.

Right Back: Neal. Basically a toss up between him and the G-Nev for me. I grew up watching Neville, and while he seems on a mission to make everyone possible hate him these days, he was actually a cornerstone of a very successful Man United team (think of his link ups with Becks for example). For Phil Neal, he’s basically the same but for Liverpool in the 80s. And his European Cup record swings it for him.

Centre Half i: Adams. I can’t think of anyone I would want leading my back line more than Tony Adams. At least if we’re talking about the sober years. A Colossus for club and country.

Centre half ii: Moore. If half the things people say about him are true, then he’s an obvious pick for this. His performance against Brazil in 1970 was amazing (even if whisper it, he wasn’t all that in the World Cup Final four years earlier). I think both Terry and Ferdinand are top quality defenders, and would be looking at being just behind these two. Not bad back up.

Left Back: Pearce. Psycho was the perfect balance between rough break-your-legs tackling and fairness, he could hit a free kick, and he rarely gave away the ball. The best left footed defender this country has ever produced. Ashley Cole’s not a bad second choice though.

Right Wing: Beckham. Truth be told, I probably would have gone for Matthews here had he been available, but lets not take anything away from Becks. He’s had his ups and downs, but pretty much over his entire career he’s been the player that we could rely on to drag the team kicking and screaming forwards.

Centre Mid i: Gazza. Whatever his problems off the pitch, he was the most talented player this country has ever produced.

Centre Mid ii: Bobby Charlton. Well other than the fact that he scored more goals than any other Englishman at the top level (from midfield!) he basically redefined the game in the 60s. Where Lampard and Gerrard fit into any team is always a mystery.

Left Wing: Brooking. Despite stories from my Dad about how good he was, I grew up with Brooking the TV Pundit and FA Guru. Luckily, YouTube can be an educational tool. He really was very good.

Striker i: Keegan. He was unfortunate to play in an era where England did very little on the international scene, but his record with Liverpool, and elsewhere (including a Ballon d’Or) proves he was rather good.

Striker ii: Lineker. He might be slightly smugly annoying on Match of the Day, but he’s the best striker we’ve ever produced, hands down.

Rooney? Well I think the bench with Geoff Hurst at the moment. But one day, he could well be in this team.

Who’d be in yours? And who do you think will be in Terry’s?

I’ve banged on about this twice before. Once in 2008, and again in 2009, so it’s an annual England blog tradition at this point. Basically I think the England team would be a lot stronger if at least some of our top players would expand their horizons and leave the Premier League.

It’s not just about making the England players into better people (though recent events suggest that would be more than a little useful), it’s also about making them better and more complete footballers by exposing them to foreign football cultures. I also think the England team would be a little more popular around the world if our players made appearances in other domestic leagues, like goodwill ambassadors. I miss the days of Gary Lineker in Barcelona, Chris Waddle in Marseille and David Platt playing for Sampdoria. In fact, I’ve decided to be pro-active and start assigning England players to non-English teams. So pack your bags gentlemen, because this is where you’re going.

James Milner: Sprechen Sie Deutsch Herr Milner? I hope so, because you’re headed to the Bundesliga with, let’s say, Schalke 04. I think your work rate and solid technique will go down nicely. Also, see if you can pick up some penalty taking tips to bring home and share.

Steven Gerrard: You’ve been assigned to Serie A with Internazioanale. I want to see what happens when you have to fight Dejan Stankovic Wesley Sneijder and Esteban Cambiasso for a midfield spot.

Joe Cole: You’re off to play in La Liga with Valencia. Why? Because I said so, that’s why.

Wayne Rooney: Tough one. But after careful consideration I’m thinking Barcelona. You’ve clearly got what it takes to be the central striker in a three man forward line, so I’m thinking some sort of swap deal with Zlatan Ibrahimovic is the way to go. Also, I’d love to see what happens when you team up with Leo Messi.

John Terry: You stay where you are. We can’t have you further damaging the reputation of Brits abroad.

Bobby Zamora: You’re not getting enough respect in England, so I’m thinking Eredivisie for you. Because it seems almost comically easy to score goals there. Even Afonso Alves could do it. Get 50 in a season, then back to the Prem with a big team. Deal?

Owen Hargreaves: Back to Bayern Munich. You seemed less injured when you were last there.

Glen Johnson: Get a P&O ticket, you’re headed to France. I’m thinking Olympique Marseille, mostly because I have no idea who their current right back is. Good luck Glen, and don’t steal any French toilet seats.

Any others? Who would you send where?

Before half time he seemed to turn awkwardly on his ankle, and limped around quite a bit on it afterwards, though he gave the thumbs up to the bench, suggesting he was fine.

He didn’t look completely comfortable in the Second Half, but we didn’t get to see him long, as Rafael got sent off, meaning that Rooney was sensibly sacrificed.

If its any consolation, United went out. So Rooney might have made things worse for nothing. Ho hum.

Basically it works like this – the longer England are in the World Cup, the more people buy useless stuff they don’t exactly need – Flags, shirts, pizzas, big TVs, beer, and all that kind of thing. That aids recovery.

£1.25bn was made in retail on the back of the last (obviously pre-recession) World Cup, and the tournament will see Asda (through Wal-Mart are selling FIFA tat) and Tesco (Selling official England tat) going head to head to cash in on the fun and games.

Obviously, it won’t just be supermarkets that will be hoping that England go a long way. Bookmakers, beermakers, and junk food merchants can expect a rise in sales (Mars sales went up 7% in 2006, while Beer companies think of the World Cup as a Second Christmas).

But one company that will be hoping England fall at the final hurdle will be JJB, the sports company, that has promised to refund all England Shirt Sales should win the World Cup.

So, no pressure Fabio.